We were talking about finding time to get everything done. Listen to what she said to me. “I put around 400 miles a week on my car just getting the kids from place to place. They never seem to be going in the same direction. My husband helps me all he can, but with the demands of his job, it has become my responsibility. I don’t mind doing it, but it sure doesn’t leave me much time for anything else. My challenge is trying to balance doing for them with taking care of the house, a husband, the shopping and all the other little things that are tugging at me. Some days the demands for my time are just overwhelming.”
I asked her, “When is there time for you?”
“Time for me! There is no time for me. If I try to squeeze time for me, it gets taken away by something else that needs my attention. I figure somewhere down the road I will get a break.”
“How in the world do you fit everything in?”
“I don’t. That’s my biggest issue. I just get done what I can and I figure the rest can wait.”
She paused and then said, “I used to be such an organized person. Now I don’t even know what it would feel like to get things done.”
Isn’t it amazing how all this new technology was suppose to help us free up our time; it has; it has freed us to just do more. The demands on people’s time today has left so many running a race they can’t win. There is no such thing as getting caught up; there is very little time to enjoy what you have just completed. There is always the next crisis waiting for you. What it is doing to most people is just keeping them fighting to keep their head above water.
I was talking to a client the other day whose company has just gone through a major downsizing. Her department went from ten people to four. Her boss let her know how much he was counting on her. The workload that was done by ten now had to be done by four. Oh, no more pay; just more “things” to fit into a time block that was already filled.
She looked at me and said, “I don’t know how they expect me to get all this done. I was already the “go to” person, now I guess I am the gotta do lady. My boss keeps giving me things that I have to do. I asked him how he expected me to get all this done and he just smiled and said he knew I would. I don’t know what to do. I could quit, but then I would have to find another job. I guess I will just get done what I can and the rest will have to wait. I think I have come to the place where their demands are not my concern. They created this mess, so let them reap the rewards.”
Then, she asked me. “How do you stay organized when there is not enough time to get half the things done there is to do? You can talk about prioritizing, but everything is a crisis that needs to be done NOW! I don’t think their Now and my Now are the same NOWS!”
The demands people are facing today are more than just physical. They are also mental and emotional. When there is more to do than there is time to do them, the repercussions are created. I have had so many discussions with people who are just plain worn out. There is never enough time to get things done; there is never any time for self. Their entire life is a race that doesn’t leave time for rest.
So, I decided this issue needs to be a part of StarMaker. You can’t get organized if there is not the time to do the things that will get you organized. From what I can see this race is not going to get easier. Everything takes time, but you can’t create more time. Time is, and that is all there is to it. You can talk about less creating more, but what do you cut? For most people, everything they are doing is important. The simple life is something many are not going to experience until they are dead.
As I was putting all this together, I called one of my prior Private Coaching Students and asked her about her life and demands. Lauren is a wife, a mother, a student, a business professional and a person who really is into challenging her life. We were talking about all the demands and together we came up with a list of Life’s Most Consistent Demands:
D |
Decisions that are made for you and expected for you to do. |
E |
Emails and phone calls. |
M |
Making time for family. |
A |
Adjusting to the financial challenges. |
N |
Needs created by a person’s chosen lifestyle. |
D |
Doing for and taking care of everyone else. |
S |
Stress created by your perception of what it means to be successful. |
How many of those do you wrestle with?
How many days is your agenda filled with what others need from you and expect you to do?
How much time do you spend answering emails or talking on the phone?
How many times does family get pushed into the corner because of that “thing” that has to be taken care of?
How much pressure is there on people today financially?
How challenging is it to adjust downward when you have been used to living at a certain lifestyle?
What about taking care of your family and/or the extended family?
Is your personal dream still alive and well, or is it suffering because of all the other stuff that is on your plate?
When is enough, enough?
This concept of “Demands” is such a big stress point. It can weaken passion, feed your confusion, suck the life out of you and make you resent doing things that you might really enjoy IF there wasn’t all the other stuff to do. Demands take the simplicity out of most people’s lives. It leaves them wrestling with what is a priority, what do you do first and how do you do everything there is to do without wearing yourself out? Do you think there is any stress in all of that?
So, is there an answer to controlling the demands that are put on you? The good news is YES there is an answer. The bad news is the answer is not what most people want to hear. Here is the outline that I will be exploring on Friday, August 1st, at StarMaker.
D |
Don’t be afraid to say, “No” to everyone who demands from you. |
E |
Expect others to help carry the load and hold them accountable. |
M |
Make time for you a requirement and if others don’t understand, “Oh Well” that is their issue. |
A |
Adjust the pace, which means defining priorities. |
N |
Never think you have to do it all. |
D |
Don’t get suck into the guilt game. |
I have a question for you – When is it time for you to become a priority in your own life?
As long as you live trying to please what others want from you, you will not have time for what you want. Isn’t it time you stop lettings others use your heart and ask them to treat you with respect and stop stealing your time to fulfill their wishes?
Email me your thoughts to Richard@richardflint.com
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