The truth is, all of us are going to go through times when we are out of control. We are all going to have moments where we feel life is moving and we are standing still. The key is to not panic, but stop, take a deep breath and bring your life back to where you feel you are present in it. That is easy for me to write, but more challenging for people to achieve. Let me share with you some principles you can use when you feel overwhelmed so you can respond, not react.
First, refuse to give into the collision of your emotions and speed up. The tendency of most is to want to speed up and get through this situation. Truth is – that doesn’t work! Reality is — when you are speeding up, you are just feeding the feeling of being overwhelmed. Here you are; already feeling out of control and now you are going to move even faster. Does that make sense to you? The faster you move the more power you give these emotions. The more power you give them the greater your confusion. The greater your confusion the more you are going to feel overwhelmed. See how this creates an uncontrollable circle?
Next, express your feelings. Too many times when one feels overwhelmed, they withdraw. They don’t want to talk to anyone; they don’t want to be around anyone; they just want to be left alone so they don’t have to explain what is happening to them. Truth is – this is the worst thing you can do. Now, I am not saying talk to everyone about what you are feeling. That is a huge mistake. There are people who will use your time of emotional collision to manipulate you. You need to share what is happening to you, BUT with the right people.
You share your emotional overload with those you trust; those you know really care about you, those who are part of your fan club. These people will not judge you; they will not run out and share what you have said with others. They will stand beside you and support you with wisdom, encouragement and hugs.
Learn this and learn it well – emotions that you bury aren’t buried; they are simply connected to other emotions, which when they attack, they attack with a strength you can’t fight. Don’t run from what you are feeling; share with the right people and allow them to stand with you with support.
Third, simplify your life. If you can’t manage what is going on in and around your life, the last thing you need to do is add more clutter. To get beyond being overwhelmed you need to step back, look at all that is sitting on your plate and see how much of it is really important.
Too many people are “stuff” collectors, rather than waste removers. When you can’t manage, you can’t make decisions about what is or isn’t right for your life. If you keep putting more and more on your plate, it will spill. When it does, it will take you down with it.
Stop! Look at your life and the stacks of clutter that are wearing you down. Prioritize them; those that aren’t really important, let go of. If they are there because someone gave them to you, give them back. The simpler your life, the easier it is for you to move from a world of continuation to a world of completion. The difference is your mental, emotional and physical health.
Next, plan today, not tomorrow. Many who feel overwhelmed can’t see an end in sight. When they look at today, they just see a continuation of yesterday. If they think about tomorrow, they don’t have any idea of what to do.
The key is to let go of yesterday, don’t worry about tomorrow and pick three things you can do today. You will be amazed how that will slow your emotions down, open your imagination and create within you the feeling that things can happen. If you are looking backward at what hasn’t happened, you are feeding your feeling of being lost. If you are staring at tomorrow and hoping it will get better, you can’t see what is going on around your life right now. The only time and space you have is today. Make today the room you are going to spend “now” time in. Make today your room of action. If today becomes your living room and it is designed to achieve, not procrastinate, you will find it easier to focus on what is, rather than what isn’t or what might be.
Next, orchestrate action. You have to achieve and complete in order to free yourself from not being able to move forward. Action is the doorway that leads you out of your circles. Action is the step that changes the direction you have been moving.
If you sit down, you are trapped. If you retreat to yesterday, you are a hostage. If you use tomorrow as the time you are going to take care of all this, you are lying to yourself and tomorrow just becomes another untruth you will have to face.
Orchestrate action! Make that list of three things you are going to complete today and act!
Negotiate with yourself! This may sound funny, but it is important. You are in a war with your “Old You” and that person wants you to continue to feel overwhelmed. The “Old You” knows as long as you are feeling overwhelmed, you are trapped and will repeat your old behaviors. You must not under estimate the power of the “Old You.” That person who lives inside you and has had control of your presence is cunning, a liar and armed with a war chest of emotions to throw at you.
You have to talk out loud to the “Old You.” You have to allow the “New You” to speak with strength and a presence that is not willing to cave into the “Old You.” The “New You” must have a self-trust that is so strong it can withstand the emotional darts that will be hurled. The “New You” must be strong enough to tell the “Old You” out loud to “shut up and go away.” This battle will be emotionally exhausting, but mentally rewarding when you finally put the “Old You” behind closed doors. That can happen!
Finally, to overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed, dig deep into your soul. Truth is – you want to excel. Reality is – there is strength inside you to slow your life down, gain a pace you can manage and have the resilience to stand tall in a world that wants to knock you down and keep you there.
You have to want to have control of your life; you have to work with consistent persistency have the inner strength to separate the emotional attacks. It won’t be easy; it won’t happen without a battle between the “Old You” and the “New You.” If you dig deep and stand firm on a foundation of desire that is stronger than your fear, you can win and capture control of your life. When you do, you will learn the opposite of feeling overwhelmed is freedom! Freedom is the release from your emotional entanglements. Freedom is the calmness and clarity that slows you down, opens your imagination and allows you to respond with an open imagination. What a great picture of life freedom paints.
Email me your thoughts to Richard@richardflint.com
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