by Richard Flint Seminars
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Stop Trying! Several newsletters ago I wrote about how tired I see people becoming today. I really believe it is the fastest growing emotional illness in our country. Since that article, I have been searching for the factors that are tiring us out today. I think I have discovered one of the major exhaustion points — the behavior of trying. Does that sound strange to you? Here is what I have learned: As long as one starts with the attitude of “I’ll try” they have made the journey difficult from the beginning. The behavior of trying is based on the negative side of fear. This means you have to work through the negative emotions you have about the situation in order to get to the positive. For most people that is too exhausting. So, what do they do? They begin with the thought I’ll try, then run into the challenging part of the journey and walk away. You see, the behavior of trying has an escape clause built into it. It says if things get too tough, I can say I’ve tried and use that as the justification to not finish the situation. How many have you known who have done that? Daily, I watch people who have bought into the behavior of trying and use it as the reason they don’t complete what they start. The danger is they fill their life with clutter. Anything you start, but don’t complete remains an open file in your mind. Anything you start, but don’t complete continues to drain energy from your life. Walking away doesn’t mean it is over; mentally and emotionally it means you have suspended this action. Now, think about this. What happens to you when the mental and emotional drain continues? Can the continuation mentally and emotionally drain you? If I keep adding more to my plate without removing anything from it, what will happen to my mental and emotional energy? You have to learn this! Trying is not positive effort. It is energy given that is filled with doubt and skepticism. The message is simple – stop trying and start taking positive action! This raised two questions in my mind: 1. Why do people start a journey through the behavior of trying? 2. What do you have to do to take positive action? Why Do People Start A Journey Through The Behavior Of Trying? Through working with people in my private coaching program, I have discovered three reasons people buy into the behavior of trying. First, their life is guided by their own self doubts. Self doubt is a powerful foe for one to contend with. No matter how strong the desire, self doubt will starve the desire to death. Self doubt is self fulfilling prophecy. A person gets excited, jumps in and then has to face the tape of past experiences they have started, but not completed. It is filled with past defeats, past pain, past negative experiences. Soon the emotional message is you have been here before and couldn’t. What makes you think you can do it this time? That tape has been played so many times it has an emotional choke hold on the life. Do you think that tape can be turned off just because a person wants to do it now? Second, reaction has become a way of life. Reaction is the leap off the cliff before you have done your research. It is action driven by a moment of excitement. Reaction is one of the major staples in the diet of the behavior of trying. Reaction is based on thoughts being implemented before they have gained clear understanding. The result is confusion guiding the action one is taking. Does that sound exhausting? Third, years of pent up frustrations. What happens to a person who starts and stops, starts and stops? Do you think there is any frustration built into that behavior? You bet! So, they get excited about what they say they want to do, race out without thinking things through, start the journey with self doubt, hit the wall and sit down frustrated. They look around, scratch their head and say, well, I tried! The behavior of trying is based on the negative side of fear. This means you have to work through the negative emotions you have about the situation in order to get to the positive. For most people that is too exhausting. So, what do they do? They begin with the thought I’ll try, run into the challenging part of the journey and walk away. What Do You Have To Do To Take Positive Action? This is the only way you can dismiss the behavior of trying. This is the only way you can control the negative fear attached to the event. First, clarify your direction. You must be able to answer the question “What Do I Really Want To Achieve?” Without a clear direction each action is filled with doubt. The doubt will smother the desire. The answer to this question gives your mind a focus which can stand against the negative fears. Second, complete your research before you start. Know the pros and cons to this journey. Don’t jump into the river without knowing the depth of the water. The lack of information can strangle one’s desire. Slow down, gather the information necessary to making an intelligent decision. Don’t let excitement overshadow the need for planning. Third, the pace must be manageable. Too many run into the wall because they are moving faster than their ability to control the terrain. The faster you move the less sight you have. Slow down! Make sure you are in control of what is happening, rather than the events controlling your sight. Fourth, internal belief in your ability. The only thing that will take a person through the tough terrain is their inner belief in their talents. When you doubt yourself, the negative devours your desire. Believing in yourself is a must to completing the journey. Fifth, order must be followed. When the plan is in place, it must create the road map to be followed. No detours are allowed! Each detour steals your mental and emotional sight. Detours are designed to feed the negative, not the positive. Bring them to the table and they will devour positive beliefs. Sixth, “now” becomes the focal point. The behavior of trying is filled with justification. Justification invites procrastination to the event. Procrastination is behavior designed to waste today by making tomorrow the focal point. That creates an emotional circle that doesn’t allow you to start. The only right time to take positive action is now! Each aspect of the journey must be based on answering the question, What must I do now to move my life forward? With that as the focal point there is no trying; just the behavior of completing what we start. Hey, the lesson is simple. Stop trying and start taking positive action!
(I would love to hear your thoughts about this information. Email me at Richard@RichardFlint.com) How Important Is Communication? How important is communication inside any organization? What happens when there is not clear communication? The result is internal confusion. The second most important skill a leader must develop is the power to effectively communicate. Where there is a lack of communication, one will find people’s personal agenda having a stronger presence than the agenda of the company. When this happens there will be emotional collisions that will reduce the quality of what is happening inside the organization, which in turn will lessen the quality presented to the external customer. Effective communication is such an important part of the clarity necessary to keep confusion from gathering a foothold within the organization. Just as it is the responsibility to listen, it is also their responsibility to communicate with their people. If the leader is to lead, they must communicate calmly and clearly. Effective communication requires:
Where communication is weak, confusion will increase. The greater the confusion the stronger the emotional conflict. Conflict will create frustrations, which will generate disappointment, which will open people to anger. With this process in place communication will be something that could be, but isn’t. (I would love to hear your thoughts about this information. Email me at Richard@RichardFlint.com) Are You Disciplined Enough? Question for you: As much as you want to work for yourself, are you disciplined enough to build your business through your disciplined effort? In working with many who are striving to build their own personal business the top challenge they face is a disciplined work ethic that they apply each day to their business. There is no way to effectively emphasize the importance of a disciplined work ethic. When you are working for someone else, you have a work schedule. Many who work for self create a work schedule, but find self daily finding things that need to be done that have nothing to do with building their business. Question: If you were an employee in your company, would you keep you or fire you? You can’t be scattered and build your business; you can’t live with good intentions and build your business; you must be strong in focus and determined to do with it takes to make it happen. Each day you approach with discipline becomes a day where you waste time and change the pathway you are walking to achieve you stated dream. The demand is for a consistent persistency fueled by a persistent consistency. Without this you will spend your days walking in circles and justifying the circles through good intentions. The result – a nightmare, not a dream.
(I would love to hear your thoughts about this information. Email me at Richard@RichardFlint.com)
Strategies for Successful Selling Is The Customer Always Right? Is the customer always right? The answer is NO! We all know that, but how many times is a customer who is wrong be appeased, rather than confronted. If the customer is wrong and not confronted, then their behavior is validated. Validate their behavior and they will continue to remain that way. When the behavior of the customer is not confronted, their presence increases and the presence of the salesperson diminishes. As their presence increased the more demanding they become. That means satisfying them is impossible and the journey now turns to appeasing them. The result is an increase is the emotional discord between the salesperson and the customer. The result is the customer losing respect for the salesperson. That creates a no win situation for everyone involved. The fact is the customer must be confronted and their behavior addressed. If confronting them doesn’t improve their behavior, then that customer must be fired. Too many are fearful of the business they will lose, BUT if you calculate the emotional discord the customer creates with what they spend, most of the time you are actually losing money with them. The reality is any customer who is not working with you is working against you and will not be someone you can satisfy. The result is an environment of confusion that destroys of any spirit of working together. (I would love to hear your thoughts about this information. Email me at Richard@RichardFlint.com) Messages for Successful Living Six Foundation Thoughts Two or three times a year, I am invited by my friend, Robyn Thompson, to speak at her Growth Camp. This is a gathering of people who really want to see how far they can go in life. This is a special time for me, because it allows me to stand in front of serious people, not people who are looking for the “magical formula.” One of the insights I love to share is what I think the real meaning of growth is: G — getting control of your fears R — resisting the temptation to detour when things get tough O — ownership for your life and the choices you have made W — willingness to address your life with honesty T — taking life at a pace you can manage H — having the courage to face yourself even when you don’t like you. Question for you: Are those six things foundations on which you build your life? (I would love to hear your thoughts about this information. Email me at Richard@RichardFlint.com) “Richard, I heard you talk and well you made a lot of sense, so I purchased your CDS, well reluctantly - I must confess it was what the "doctor ordered" and will change my entire strategy for the rest of my life.” A Client’s Thought “Dear Richard, I just wanted to send you a short note to personally thank you for your major contribution to the success of our 2006 NECA Convention in Boston, Massachusetts. I heard countless positive comments about the management seminars we conducted during our Convention and our members truly appreciate your efforts in educating them about today's cutting edge issues impacting the electrical contracting industry. As you may have observed, the attendance at sessions was excellent. In my five years at NECA, I personally observed the largest attendance I have ever seen at our Management Sessions. ... Thank you again. Our success would not have been possible without your contribution.” StarMaker 2007 - July 20-22 - Miami, Florida I hope you are making plans to be with me next July 20-22 at Marriott's Doral Resort & Spa in Miami for Feeding The Hunger of Motivation for StarMaker 2007 . Every year I tell you, “This is going to be the best StarMaker ever.” I really believe each year contains vital information to prepare you to gain the clarity necessary to move your life further down the pathway to really achieving your personal dream. Dreams are emotional. They are sketches that each day requires focus. Focus creates energy and that energy is what you rely on when the terrain turns tough to manage. These are the times when you are traveling through the wasteland feeling lost and uncertain that you need to be able to draw from your inner reservoir of replenishing energy. That replenishing energy is motivation. Without the pool of replenishing energy you will grow weak and not have the strength to face the path in front of you. StarMaker 2007 - Feeding the Hunger of Motivation, is going to show you the process for continually replenishing your inner reservoir and always having the energy necessary to climb the next mountain. What if you could live a life where you weren’t up one minute and down the next? What would that mean to your life? StarMaker 2007 will show you how to achieve this. Daily MindJogger Calendar for 2007 “If life is going to start tomorrow, what are you doing with today?” Each day is a gift from God and it’s up to you to determine how you will use it. Will you abuse it? Waste it? Spend it? Or invest it?
To help you make the process of investing your time easier, I’ve created the Daily MindJogger Calendar. It’s a collection of some of my most powerful thoughts. This daily calendar is designed to guide each day of your life as you progress along your journey. It will give you the guidance, motivation, and inspiration you need to clearly define and achieve your dreams. Imagine having the clarity and insight you need to overcome difficult obstacles in your path. Click here for more info! COMING SOON! Richard's Newest Book! Behavior Never Lies WATCH FOR A SPECIAL PRE-ORDER ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON!
RichardFlint.com Affiliate Program Find out how to help other people have a better quality of life and make some extra cash at the same time. Richard’s Affiliate Program is an opportunity to build a partnership with Richard and help him reach those who need his information and insights. You know the power of his message and now you can help others know it too. Richard Flint Seminars 11835 Canon Blvd., Suite C-105 Newport News, VA 23606-2570 1-800-368-8255 or (757) 873-7722 Fax 1-800-232-8255 or (757) 873-7772 Newsletter Date: October 19, 2006 |
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